Quackery

Things that don’t work in genuine cases of M.E.

The ME community is beset with quackery of all kinds, offering spurious remedies to the gullible and the desperate. Desperation I can understand, but please, don't entirely abandon your critical faculties and join the ranks of the gullible.

Any “therapy” that involves talking or thinking your way out of your illness simply can't work. M.E. is a devastating physical illness, and talking/thinking won’t change that, any more than you can talk or think your way out of a broken leg. Yes, indeed, cures are claimed, but I believe they are of people who have been misdiagnosed – there is no test for M.E. so there are bound to be false positive diagnoses. False negatives, too.

Likewise any “remedy” relying on "biocranial massage" or “lymphatic massage/drainage” must be considered spurious. There is no known mechanism by which they can influence M.E. - or anything else, for that matter - see Quackwatch on this and other stuff.

The treatment of alleged food allergies/intolerance is frequently touted as a remedy for M.E., which personally I doubt. However, such presumed allergies are substantially over-diagnosed - or simply imagined - both by the patient and the diagnostician - a term I use very loosely. Almost nobody really has food intolerances on the scale “diagnosed” in many M.E. patients, no matter what the means of diagnosis, and treatment is mostly an act of futility, not to mention starvation.

Quackwatch on food allergies in general and on testing for allergies.

The Vega machine for “diagnosing” food allergies is complete and utter quackery – a tiny sample of the food in question is put into the machine, and a probe is touched to the ~~sucker’s~~, er, patient’s hand, and “diagnostic” lights flash on the machine. A friend was told she was allergic to salt by some loony with a Vega, (along with almost everything else that makes up a normal diet), and must eliminate it from her diet (yet you cannot survive without salt!). Had it not been for the fact that a little salt was sneaked into her food she would undoubtedly have died.

The problem, with M.E., is that at some time or other almost everything you eat or drink will make you feel ill, so it's very easy for the gullible to be sucked in to the whole allergy nonsense when, really, it's nothing of the sort. Currently fried foods make me very ill. I am not intolerant, or allergic, and I’m confident it will pass. It's just one of those things.

Anyone who actually believes in this Vega tripe should be sectioned immediately, for their own safety!

Radionics – they put a slip of paper bearing your signature, or a bit of your hair, into the Radionics machine, which then beams healing rays at you, no matter how far away you may be. If you genuinely believe in this, join the Vega fans in the queue for a back-to-front jacket. It’s no more than sympathetic magic in a party frock, and cannot possibly work. Again, I know a person who spent a fortune on this bollocks (the same person as above), to no avail.

Hulda Clark – an American "doctor" who claims to be able to cure anything, including M.E., not to mention cancer and AIDS. I very much doubt she could cure bacon!

She markets, among much else, an “electronic” machine which, if you first flood your system with wormwood (and say goodbye to your brain cells), then hold the terminals, will purge your body of a whole range of entirely imaginary parasites. It also comes with an egg-shaped attachment for eliminating vaginal parasites! And yes, the same gullible friend (actually, ex friend – my tolerance of stupidity and self-destructive behaviour is limited), swallowed this idiocy whole, and seriously addled her brain with wormwood.

Clark has published three books, The Cure for All Cancers, The Cure for HIV and AIDS, and The Cure for All Diseases,which includes CFS (so does this book make the other two redundant?), which would be hilarious were it not so tragic. After all, given these books, surely our still being ill is just down to our own perversity. Or something. Pass the barf bag...

By the way, I once downloaded her list of “parasites” – to say it was mind-boggling would be an understatement – if I were to believe any of it I would have to question my own sanity. One so-called parasite was sorghum syrup – in reality it’s a natural sweetener which is actually quite good for you! It contains significant levels of iron, calcium and potassium, and used to be prescribed by doctors before dietary supplements were available.

Colonic Irrigation is dangerous and of no therapeutic benefit whatsoever. Your colon will come to no harm at all from being full of shit (as are the practitioners of this egregious and pointless "therapy"), that's what it was designed for. Nor does it store old faeces in odd corners, not least because it doesn't have any. The idea that meat-eaters' colons have several pounds of undigested red meat hanging around is totally false (and why is it never white meat?); it originated with vegetarians, to denigrate meat-eaters, but was happily seized upon by the lunatic fringe. One could argue that vegetarian's colons are bunged up with undigested fibre, which is more likely to be true.

Left alone, your colon will process your waste and move it along until you get rid of it. Other than, perhaps, an occasional laxative, and a sensible fluid intake, it needs no outside intervention. It sure as hell doesn't need a hose-pipe and a bucket of water!

Often going hand-in-glove with C.I. is Liver Flushing. This is based on an absurdly false premise (that your liver is somehow full of stones), which flushing will remove. Except it can't, because they aren't there in the first place (they can occur, but are extremely rare and, anyway, flushing produces more "stones" than the body can actually hold). You may well have gallstones, but flushing will have zero effect on them, other than to irritate your gall bladder and cause you pain. Ditto your pancreas.

There is no medical basis for liver flushing - not an iota - yet the web is riddled with assorted lunatics singing its praises, and all too few people questioning it.

The Chi machine. Classified as Class 1 device by the FDA, which means that it won't harm you. Probably do bugger all for you, too. This thing massages your ankles while you lie on the floor, for pity's sake, yet this is claimed to give you:-

• More energy; a greater sense of well-being.
• Stronger and more limber spine and joints.
• Firming and toning of thighs, hips, buttocks.
• Sounder and more restful sleep.
• Stronger immune system, fewer or no colds.
• Better stamina.
• Alleviation of many stress and related conditions like
headaches / migraines, anxiety and depression.
• Improved function of internal organs.
• Improved circulation of the blood.

This egregious contraption is currently being considered by Quackwatch - I'll post a link when they post their findings. Bear in mind, though, that nobody has ever demonstrated that Chi even exists, but when has that every stopped people believing the most palpable tosh? Never, sadly. It seems when considering claims like this people are quite happy to check the brains at the door. Look, this thing is produced, and the bizarre concept of Chi developed, by a nation which thinks using two sticks to eat with is a good idea. What does that tell you?

Nor does any form of "Magnetic Therapy" - see this Bad Science page for a selection of articles.

And for anyone putting their faith in dodgy nutritionists, I offer you Holford Watch, featuring the endlessly self-promoting Patrick Holford.

Quackwatch on an assortment of dodgy electro-diagnostic devices, including Vega.